PERSONAL NEWS: Cable service call

I don’t like to waste people’s time. What you are about to see is the result of A) the live chat option that is supposed to be quick started to drag on way too long and B) I got shuffled to multiple people who obviously don’t speak English as their primary language [that’s not racist; my three years of forgotten Spanish don’t qualify for me to do customer service for Mexico City].

I’m sure the provider in question would argue that people playing around like this makes CS more expensive and bills go up. My reply is that an employed American in the same spot would have solved the problem in half the time I spent on the chat BEFORE I started goofing off.

Whatever side you’re on, hopefully you get a laugh out of this.

NOTE: I put the whole thing in here for accuracy, but the portion in green is where it starts to get fun…

Live Chat

Problem: My cable TV was not working properly this morning and I would like to determine if it was a problem in my area or specific to my cable

user Matthew_ has entered room

Matthew>
My cable TV was not working properly this morning and I would like to determine if it was a problem in my area or specific to my cable

analyst Rod has entered room

Rod>
Hello Matthew_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Rod. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Rod>
I will be more than glad to check on that for you Matthew.

Rod>
Please give me a minute to pull up your account.

Rod>
We appreciate the time that you’re taking to chat in today. Your cable is out due to an outage in the area. Please do not worry about it since our network engineers are aware of this and are currently working in resolving the issue.

Matthew_>
thanks. is there a place I can go to check that myself, to save you the time next time?

Matthew_>
are there notices of service on the web somewhere or anything like that?

Rod>
I am sorrry but as of the moment the National Outage board is not yet available for customers at the moment. However, Comcast is already working on making it available for you guys due to customer demands.

Rod>
We will be sending you a link for the website once it is available.

Matthew_>
that’s fine, I just wanted to check

Matthew_>
also, to be sure we’re talking about the same thing, it wasn’t a complete lack of service, just some channels missing

Rod>
I understand, you are experiencing a stage 1 outage. There’s a known issue with some cable channels,  HD & DVR FOR GUIDE MENU and Ondemand.

Matthew_>
one more question… we got one of the new little boxes for our bedroom TV, the ones that are supposed to be on any TV that doesn’t already have a cable box since the digital switch…

Matthew_>
and for some reason it doesn’t get sound on one channel (channel 8) which just happens to be the one channel we would use most on that tv. It’s not a problem with the TV because we have switched a couple TVs in that spot and get the same issue. We’ve had a service person out to look at it, but the problem cleared up when he came and stayed good for about 2 weeks after.

Matthew_>
can we get a new box to put in there, or is there something we can do to this one to make it work? It’s not really worth bringing out one of your guys again, but it’s a very annoying problem

Rod>
We will make sure we help you with that Matt. My partner rep from the DTA team will be the one to further assist you with this. You can get a new box for the TV. Please stay online.

Rod>
Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

analyst Dave.43113 has entered room

Dave.43113>
It’s a wonderful day here at Comcast, I hope you do the same!

analyst Rod has left room

Dave.43113>
How may I assist you, Matthew?

Matthew_>
we got one of the new little boxes for our bedroom TV, the ones that are supposed to be on any TV that doesn’t already have a cable box since the digital switch…

Matthew_>
and for some reason it doesn’t get sound on one channel (channel 8) which just happens to be the one channel we would use most on that tv. It’s not a problem with the TV because we have switched a couple TVs in that spot and get the same issue. We’ve had a service person out to look at it, but the problem cleared up when he came and stayed good for about 2 weeks after

Matthew_>
can we get a new box to put in there, or is there something we can do to this one to make it work? It’s not really worth bringing out one of your guys again, but it’s a very annoying problem

Dave.43113>
Alright then.

Dave.43113>
We are sorry you went through this. I can understand why you are feeling this way.

Dave.43113>
I will take care of all the necessary assistance you would need.

Dave.43113>
Before we may go into details, can I have your name, address and home phone number first, so that I can pull up your account?

Matthew_>
great, thanks

Dave.43113>
Please take your time in giving the information.

Matthew_>
that isn’t attached to the session?

Matthew_>
I already filled it out once…

Matthew_>
Matthew Weller — Reading, PA 19609

Dave.43113>
Thank you very much for that information you have provided.

Dave.43113>
I am currently pulling up your accoount right now.

Dave.43113>
Sorry for the typographical error.

Dave.43113>
May I place you on hold for a minute or two as I am pulling up your account information?

Matthew_>
I’m not already?

Dave.43113>
Matthew, you do not need another device it will be fixed by a simple troubleshooting.

Dave.43113>
If you really want the device to be changed then you do not need to order another device.

Matthew_>
I don’t want it to be changed, I want the channel to have sound

Dave.43113>
You just have to go to the nearest local office and have it exchanged or replaced.

Dave.43113>
I can give you further assistance from the activations department for basic troubleshooting for you to have a sound on that specific channel.

Matthew_>
go for it

Matthew_>
I am not currently near the box, however, so if you need me to do anything, it may be better for you to email me a list

Dave.43113>
Please stay on line as the next representative will attend to your concern.

Dave.43113>
Give me one minute to transfer you to activations department.

Dave.43113>
Would there be anything else I may assist you with?

Matthew_>
is it fixed?

Dave.43113>
We only handle order entry in this department, I may not email you the steps, Matthew.

Matthew_>
i’m trying to save time for both of us. help be find the shortest route from A to B, and I’ll walk it with you

Dave.43113>
We do not do troubleshooting on our end, our activations representative would be glad to assist you with that.

Dave.43113>
I will relay to them this issue so that you would not have to repeat yourself.

Dave.43113>
Please do not close the chat session yet, I will be transferring you now.

Dave.43113>
Or If you need additional assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or e-mail support (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week), or you may call us at 1-800-COMCAST (266227

Dave.43113>
Sorry for the typographical error.

Dave.43113>
If you need additional assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat or e-mail support (available 24 hours a day, seven days a week), or you may call us at 1-800-COMCAST (2662278).

Dave.43113>
Thank you for choosing Comcast, we truly appreciate your business.

Dave.43113>
Please hold, Matthew.

analyst Lawrence.31768 has entered room

Dave.43113>
Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

analyst Dave.43113 has left room

Lawrence.31768>
Hi. You have reached the Activations Department. I do understand that you would like to activate your digital devices to let you continue receiving all of your favorite channels, am I correct, Matthew?

Lawrence.31768>
Mr. Weller, I understand that you are not getting any sound on some of your channels, is that correct/

Matthew_>
we got one of the new little boxes for our bedroom TV, the ones that are supposed to be on any TV that doesn’t already have a cable box since the digital switch, and for some reason it doesn’t get sound on one channel (channel 8) which just happens to be the one channel we would use most on that tv. It’s not a problem with the TV because we have switched a couple TVs in that spot and get the same issue. We’ve had a service person out to look at it, but the problem cleared up when he came and stayed good for about 2 weeks after. Is there something we can do to the box to make it work? It’s not really worth bringing out one of your guys again, but it’s a very annoying problem

Lawrence.31768>
We understand that losing audio of your favorite channels may be an inconvenience to you, and we are sincerely sorry for this. We do have the perfect solution for you to get all the channels back to satisfy all of your viewing needs.

Lawrence.31768>
I see here that you already verified your account information with the previous representative, we can now proceed with the trouble shooting steps.

Matthew_>
lovely

Lawrence.31768>
May I please have the serial number of the digital device?

Matthew_>
not from me, I’m at work like most people. You can get it from my account info, though

Lawrence.31768>
I have reviewed your account and I see here that you have one main set top box and two digital adapters.

Lawrence.31768>
Are you getting this issue with all of your digital devices?

Lawrence.31768>
Or are you getting this concern with your digital adapters only?

Matthew_>
with one digital adapter

Matthew_>
the same one we’ve called about in the past

Lawrence.31768>
Thank you for this additional information.

Lawrence.31768>
I can certainly assist you with this concern.

Lawrence.31768>
Mr. Weller, since you are at work, once you arrived home, please do the following steps:

Lawrence.31768>
Go to channel 8, and then press “Lang” button on your Comcast remote control, by that time, you will be getting an audio on that specific channel right away.

Lawrence.31768>
If there is someone in your residence right now, you might want to ask them to do these steps and check if they can get a clear audio on channel 8.

Lawrence.31768>
This is the main troubleshooting step if you are missing audio on some channels.

Lawrence.31768>
And I assure you that this will resolve the problem.

Matthew_>
there’s nobody there right now, but I will try it when I get home
Matthew_>
why don’t you give me your cell phone number so I can call you personally if it doesn’t work
Lawrence.31768>
Certainly, I have the same customer’s issue awhile ago, then I asked him to follow this steps, and he got audio on channel 2 and 7.
Matthew_>
Or you could just come over
Matthew_>
I’ll get pizza, maybe some wine
Matthew_>
a little Barry White on the hi-fi
Matthew_>
you fig?
Lawrence.31768>
I do apologize, however, we don’t have access to our phones.
Matthew_>
dig, rather
Lawrence.31768>
I would love too, however, I am located on the other side of the world.
Lawrence.31768>
Thank you, Mr Weller, I appreciate your courteousness.
Matthew_>
love knows no boundaries
Matthew_>
fair enough…you have my number…you call me
Lawrence.31768>
I will make note of that in your account as well.
Matthew_>
of what? our international love?
Lawrence.31768>
This is to make sure that we keep track on your issue, and I assure you that if you are only in front of your television, this will resolve the concern.
Lawrence.31768>
It has been my pleasure serving you today, Mr. Weller, and I truly appreciate your understanding and cooperation at this point. Before we end this chat session, do you have any other concerns for me today? I will be glad to assist you further.
Matthew_>
you may want to pass that info on to your techs if it’s that simple since the 2 guys that came to our hose didn’t know how to fix it
Matthew_>
I didn’t offer them wine…I didn’t feel the connection I do with you
Lawrence.31768>
Certainly, rest assured that this concern is going to be delivered to them.
Matthew_>
now that we’ve spent all this time together
Matthew_>
sure you don’t want to stop by…? I’ll crack open my best box of wine…we can play Twister…I’ll have my wife fan us with feathers
Lawrence.31768>
I would loved too, however, I can not since I am located on the other side of the world.
Lawrence.31768>
I really appreciate your patience with this concern.
Lawrence.31768>
Do you have any other concerns for me today? I will be glad to assist you further.
Matthew_>
I’m a little concerned about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico…can you help me troubleshoot that?
Lawrence.31768>
I do apologize, however, I am only able to assist with Comcast service inquiry.
Lawrence.31768>
It was one great experience chatting with you. Valued customer like you deserves the most courteous and efficient services from Comcast. Thank you for making us a part of your household, and we truly appreciate your business.
Lawrence.31768>
I would appreciate it if you would take the time to answer the three pop-up questions after you click the “End Session” button. Thank you in advance for completing the survey.
Matthew_>
well, can you help me set up some kind of filter to keep news of the spill off my TV? At least if I can ignore it, that should help it go away, right?
Lawrence.31768>
You mean you wanted to block some of your channels, is that correct?
Matthew_>
not necessarily…just maybe have the screen show a picture of a kitten anytime any mention of the spill is made
Lawrence.31768>
Thank you for clarifying, I am not sure if we can access that, in order for me to help you better, i will be needing to connect you to the correct department to check if we can process this request, will that be fine with you?
Matthew_>
You have a kitten-picture-content-sensoring department? That’s awesome!
Lawrence.31768>
I am not sure of this, however, I think there is a different option or the like with this kind of request.
Lawrence.31768>
Would you mind holding while I connect you to them?
Matthew_>
what, like a flower picture instead? Can I get a tulip? They’re my wife’s favorite
Lawrence.31768>
I believe we do not have this kind of feature, however, I know that you can request for a certain channel to be locked, and you will be given a code to unlock a specific channel.
Lawrence.31768>
Would you like this instead?
Matthew_>
Can you just clean up the spill? That would make all this unnecessary.
Matthew_>
I mean, BP’s not going to do it…they said on the news today that’s it’s fixed already
Matthew_>
What about Arizona? Have you got anything to deal with illegal immigrants?
Matthew_>
I know you and I can work out something here
Lawrence.31768>
Let us see on how we can fix this, Mr. Weller, would there be anything else that I can assist you before I connect to that department?
Matthew_>
WE can make a difference, Lawrence!
Lawrence.31768>
Please do not forget the steps that i have provided you, on channel 8, just press “Lang” button and you will get the audio on that specific channel.
Matthew_>
hold my hand, and we shall walk together into the promised land
Lawrence.31768>
Please stay online while I make the transfer. Thank you
Lawrence.31768>
Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst
analyst Melanie has entered room
Melanie>
Hi. Welcome to Comcast World! You can call me Melanie. I am your account analyst for today. I am glad I will be able to chat with you.   How are you today?
analyst Lawrence.31768 has left room
Matthew_>
busy
Matthew_>
you?
Matthew_>
is there sun where you are?
Melanie>
How can I personally help you today?
Melanie>
I am fine, thank you for asking.
Melanie>
No, it is night time here.
Matthew_>
I have no idea…Larry said you could take care of the racist laws in Arizona that don’t really do anything to address the problems they’re having.
Melanie>
Do you have any Comcast cable related concern today that I can help you with?
Matthew_>
I don’t think so…I think we got to that in about the 48th minute of this chat…
Matthew_>
now it’s all just smalltalk. You in?
Melanie>
I am sorry, if you do not have any Comcast related concerns, you may formally close this chat session now by clicking the END SESSION button.
Melanie>
Thank you for choosing Comcast as your cable TV provider and have a great day! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service. If you need further assistance, you can chat with one of our Customer Support Specialists 24 hour a day, 7 days a week at http://www.comcastsupport.com/videochat To close this chat, please click the close button at the top of your chat window.
Matthew_>
aw, Mel, but we hardly know each other.
Melanie>
Matthew, I would love to chat with you about myself but this is not the right place and we are only allowed to discuss Comcast related concerns.
Matthew_>
should I call you after work? slide me your cell number and we can chat the night away after your shift ends
Melanie>
I am sorry but we are not allowed to give out our personal information here.
Matthew_>
well, you’ve got my number. Call me anytime. I like rainy nights, walks on the beach, and passionate love. So does my wife. But we can bring her into this later.
Melanie>
Alright , I will.
Melanie>
Please click on the END SESSION button to formally close this chat and to get the survey. Thank you for choosing Comcast as your cable TV provider and have a great day/night! Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with excellent service.
Melanie>
We strive to exceed your expectations and hope that you will take a moment to complete the 3 question survey that will follow our interaction, your feedback will help us to continue improving how we serve you.
Matthew_>
thanks Melanie. This has meant a lot to me.
Melanie>
You are welcome, Matthew.
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2 comments so far

  1. Jennadu on

    Holy s***. I laughed so hard about this! I wish I had a chat option to f*** with people like that! Soooo awesome!

    • matweller on

      Thanks! Most of it’s boring, but the highlighted part made me laugh, so I figured I’d share on the change someone else might get a smile from it. Good to see you!


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